Cuffing season has officially begun. From now until about February all of the holidays are pretty much couple centered. So if you’re trying to be in matching pajamas by Christmas it’s time to get on the apps! Well, I made a small list of Dos and Donts for dating on apps!
I know people who have met their spouses on Tinder, Bumble, Facebook Dating and Hinge. I’m sure I know other people who have met on other websites as well. I do believe it’s possible. But I know from personal experience it’s hard. Over the years through trial and error, I have come to learn a lot about dating.
I have some experience trying to find love as a Christian on all of the major apps. I mean I have tried them all. Here’s some advice:
Dos:
1) Be honest. Be completely honest about what you actually want in a partner. If there is something that is a nonnegotiable for you make that known from the beginning. If you want to find someone that you will be with forever, then you need to be completely honest about who you are at the start of your relationship. If you start your relationship off by lying then it won’t last.
2) Post full-body pictures. I would be a little nervous about doing this especially as a bigger girl, but I think it’s important so there won’t be any surprises when you meet in person. Also, unfortunately men pay a lot of attention to looks so you want to put your best foot forward.
3) Open your mind to guys “not your type”. The most important quality is someone’s character. The person they are on the inside matters much more than how they look on the outside. Obviously, don’t date someone you are repulsed by, but don’t not date someone because they don’t fit the physical requirements you arbitrarily created.
Don’ts:
1) Be shocked if Christian men don’t want to abstain. Many people (especially in the south) say that they are Christian, but there is no fruit. If you have decided to abstinent, stick with that, but don’t be surprised that men do not like that. Ultimately, abstinence is important because God calls us to be abstinent. So if you get unmatched after stating you are abstinent, take that as a sign that you dodged a bullet.
2) Lead anyone on. If you’re not feeling it, end it. It’s not fair to him or you if you keep it going. If you are unsure don’t go on more than three dates. The first date is almost always awkward, the second date is a little better, and by the third, you should know if you want to continue. If you are still unsure don’t waste anyone’s time.
3) Meet someone at their house or your house for your first date. All first dates should be done in public with the location shared with at least one friend. This goes for people you meet on apps, but also in real life. It’s best to be safe when interacting with new people. You have no reason to be scared, but you have every reason to practice being cautious.
One of the most important things you should do is list non-negotiables (Christian, similar values, etc) and negotiables (dark hair, height, finance job, etc). This is important because if you do hit it off with someone you want to refer back to your list. You will be miserable if you settle for someone who violates one of your non-negotiables. You will also be miserable if you end things with someone because they don’t meet a negotiable. These lists will help you have better odds of finding the one and being in matching pajamas by Christmas.
I would be remiss if I didn’t at least write some encouragement for the girl who is struggling with getting matches on the apps and won’t be in matching pajamas. It can get a little lonely watching all of your friends go on dates, but it is very important that you still rejoice and be happy for them. These next few months will be filled with new boyfriends, engagements, weddings, and baby announcements and it’s a good, beautiful and exciting thing. If you’re in a season where none of this is happening for you, use this time to have with yourself, your friends, and your community. Go take a class. Dress up with friends and go to a concert. Volunteer with your church. Get busy. Learn to sew. Be the host of this year’s Friendsgiving! Don’t use this time to sit at home and feel sorry for yourself. Take the time to enjoy this season!
These are some tips for dating apps. Did you meet your spouse on an app? What are some tips you have?
